There's treasure everywhere

When I was at school certain things sparked a Romanticised sparkly feeling - passion, desire, hopefulness, self-belief... it often felt like it coursed through my blood stream, urging me to be creative, to express things that were deep and profound, to be, and move, like I was significant and strong. At the time I believed those feelings were real. The feelings were real, but I followed them like they were the source of life. Those kind of moments come much much less frequently now but I have glimsed them again recently and again I am pursuing them again. They feel so significant; so important; so inspiring... so important - in being myself, and discovering myself. Moments like this often involved music. Moments when music moved me. Actually it sounds funny but the difference between listening to music and listening to music through headphones can be the difference between catching or missing these moments. The difference between a moment... and a non-ment. I guess headphones remove you from particpating in the world and allow you to be in the world but far enough away to just be an observer - a reflector on what unravels around you. I like that.

At that point in my life I smoked. While these days most people seem to hold the view that the negatives of smoking outweigh the positives, smoking gave me a window out of life - the occassional 5minutes out of work to reflect on living; the movemnet from 'waiting' on a train platform to 'reconciling my thoughts and being' on a train platform; a personal space on my balcony that hinted at the rebellious but allowed me to channel that rebelliousness into writing poetry, daydreaming of what I would become and do; or even reading my bible and interceding for others.

These days an escape into the Peaks for an hour of climbing or even just a drive through the country lanes is the nearest I come to that outlet for my core... well, emotional/spiritual impetus. I love the feeling of being lost without a trace for a few hours, unreachable and able to be all that I dream of. No pressures just hopes. Phsyical activity proably has less downsides than smoking, but my handwriting is not really legible while climbing a crag...

Well, those moments can come with little stimulus from fags or booze or headphones full of The Stone Temple Pilots or Smashing Pumpkins. What is required is the slowing down of your perception of life - even just for 5 minutes - just long enough to allow events that unravel around you to cease to be function and interaction, but become opporunities for observation and wonder. Just a brief decision to step out of doing life and into loving living changes even mundane routine and events into times of inspiration, wonder, creativity and hope.

Engage with a higher plane of thinking for 5minutes and you'll be able to negotiate the minefield of life with a greater accuracy and inspiration. A Calvin And Hobbes taught me, there's treasure everywhere!