How bleak our society; but how hopeful Mentoring as an answer

• We have the highest number of teenage pregnacies in Europe. 

• We have the 2nd highest divorce rate in Europe - no fewer than 70pc of young offenders in Britain are from single-parent families. The UK has the second highest number of children living in single-parent families or with step-parents. (Italy, Greece and Poland, traditional Catholic countries, enjoyed the most stable families).
• Despite living in the fifth richest country, the next generation of UK citizens experience some of the worst levels of poverty. When it came to the number of children living in households where income was less than 50% of the national median, the UK beat only the US.
• We have probably the most unhappy youth in the world. The research found they regard themselves as less happy, and that they drank more alcohol, took more drugs, and had more underage sex than children overseas.  Britain was ranked 18th for material well- being, beating only Ireland, Hungary and Poland.
• They were also more prone to failure at school, to experience violence and bullying while suffering a greater number of unhappy relationships with both their families and peers.  
• British children were also among the most likely to have a jobless parent and in the bottom third for homes with fewer than 10 books. 

Oh happy joy joy ;-)  I don't want to jump on any bandwagon about the riots last week being purely caused by a lack of decent father figures....  But basically I think the riots last week were largely caused by a lack of decent father figures.  Walk with me; let's chat about a couple of those issues...

100 years ago there was no such thing a s teenager.  Adolescence is a modern phenomena.  It has been created.  The transition from child to man has throughout civilisation been a very quick process - until now.  There was a period after the turn of the century when young people strove to establish an identity for themselves - to prove to the world that this period in life actually existed.  This period saw the formation of the YMCA, arguably Boys Brigade, The Scouts...? and was marked by new forms of music and large gatherings of young people. You could term this period 'IDENTITY.'

Then came a period we could term 'AUTONOMY' - a period after this identity had been established when thoughts turned to the question 'how do we establish HOW we are different to everyone else?' And thus Rock and Roll music - punk music - free love - and all kinds of other rebellious movements grew up as adolescents explored their unique contribution to the world...

Finally we reach today's melting pot, where 'AFFINITY' is the order of the day.  Young people ache to belong somewhere - to something - to someone - anyone. It is a sad truth that with the decline of the nuclear family and the growth of the 'global village' they (we all?) have a felt need to belong to a community of some description - whether online on a facebook page or any number of social networks; a street gang; a club or society; a political persuasion; a football team or a fan of a team... even simply a type of brand.  Increasingly this is a consumer nation.  A consumer world.  We have a self perpetuating vicious cycle where increased products and brands feeds the increasing hunger in hearts for belonging and identity.  The corporations willingly oblige - the teenagers gobble up the brands as a way of expressing identity and belonging amongst social sub cultures, hierachies, genres and interests and so the 'market' grows; more brands and technologies spring up to steal the market share - the corporations respond with more brands to 'belong' to so it goes on...

The relationship between brands and father figures is an interesting one... It's not just trotting out banal cliché to say that figures such as David Beckham, Ashley Cole, JayZ and so many others, have a stronger, more felt impact on young people as a role model than actual fathers do to many (if not most) young lads in this country.  It's not a lack of father figures in this country that's a problem - its the fact that most of the father figures are just a bit crap.  Most father's in the UK don't seem to know how to be good fathers.  Many didn't have strong fathers themselves. I cant really comment on how far that stretches back or why this generation is different to other ones, which equally had problems of their own, but I know that is is an epidemic in Britain today.  It's aided the entitlement mentality where young people expect the government or just anyone and everyone to provide for them whatever they want for minimum effort.  I wonder if this has to do with the comfortable upbringing many of us had as a result of our fathers' generations' hard work - they worked hard so that we don't have to - but not having to means we are practically comfortable, spiritually weak and emotionally fat.  Interesting then David Cameron's call this week for National Service for all teenagers! The plan is for 30,000 to take part next year. He said, “Let’s make National Citizen Service available to all 16-year-olds as a rite of passage” promising a new “family test” to ensure that all Government domestic policies support parents who seek to teach their youngsters right from wrong.  He said there were 120,000 “very dysfunctional and troubled” families in Britain and promised to turn their lives around by the end of this Parliament.

"Contrary to what the feminist mantra of recent decades has proposed, the patriarchy was not invented to oppress woman, but devised by Abraham to control men. Adolescent males, without an imposed order, are as feral as chimpanzees." Kevin Myers, Independent (Ireland)

Unfortunately, it's a fact that black children of single mothers are twice as likely to commit crime as black children with two parents. Nearly 60pc of London's Afro-Caribbean mothers are single. The allure of the male hierarchy in a street gang is strong to the point of being irresistible, and almost impossible to leave once joined.  The footage of young people kicking in the windows of a local FootLocker to get the latest trainers are indicative of the values they’ve learned from decades of being ignored, unchallenged and unlistened to. It's also indicative of a society where, as I've alluded to, a consumeristic mentality has grown up in tandem with a rise in marketing techniques, advertising and strong brand identities.  The problem is, with growing pressures to have certain names and be associated with certain brands for a certain sub culture comes the cult of celebrity which exacerbates the problem where young stars who are equally the victim of this consumerist onslaught actually have the money to achieve the dreams we are being sold and so strengthen the ideal in the eyes of the local youth - who don't have the money to achieve the dreams.  That is the 'beauty' of the consumerist ideal - that it is never achievable; but never more so than now with the recession, cuts and unemployment that the majority face - and the associated problems the above statistics describe.  How disappointing then to see a Teaching assistant/Learning Mentor in court for looting; a father of two, 33, who burnt to the ground a historic furniture store in Croydon; and the two sons of a evangelist minister who 'stole from supermarket' during looting.

However, as the recent riots show... middle class kids need good father figures too.  I once lamented about the irony of how it is the richer areas that can most often afford a youthworker, before realising the full validity of the truth that middle class kids need good father figures too. Whether employed, volunteer - or just good parents - these kids have the same potential to become feral without their invaluable input.

Equally let's not just lament the lack of decent role models - but also praise and support the efforts and abilities of the ones we do have. 'Tariq Jahan, a British, Asian Muslim, saw his own son (Haroon Jahan) murdered by rioters who deliberately drove a car into three men, including Haroon. Tariq has every right to seek revenge, but instead he has pleaded for calm, unity, and forgiveness. Within days of his son’s murder, he stood before news cameras, like a professional spokesperson, and asked communities to come together in peace, friendship, and unity. He did this with maturity and humility. Bad and absent fathers may be at the root of many of society’s woes, but good fathers are responsible for much of the good.'
Politicians who steal from expenses, Newspapers who exist on information illegally sourced, sportsmen and women constantly involved in sexual scandal and movies and music that promote role models with all kinds of woeful values - even church ministers involved in dodgy financial tactics and dramatic falls from grace means that young people don't trust authority easily at all anymore.  So.  Let's focus on what we CAN do. For every tragic story of terrible examples set to our young people we need a whole bunch of decent role models - in our churches in business, in the media, everywhere!  My heart is for a mentoring revolution.  It's my belief that every man (and every woman) in the church ought to be mentoring at least two younger people.  Who are YOU sharing YOUR life experience with?  It may take a long time but we DO have the resources, we DO have the wherewithal to achieve an overhaul of this society - but that's probably another blog...