3 poems composed out of coping with a tragedy

Every glossy evening I lose the sunset

As ochre rice paper dissolves in the mouth of the night

And Plathic needle pricks poke the blueing sugar paper with white

And I wonder if we either gain the dark; or lose the light?

It hurts to be human:

Because you can’t know warmth unless you’ve been cold

As I grasp with both hands the things I cannot hold

I cried teenage tears when I lost my dog

We couldn’t look after him well enough

He was too neurotic for our busy family.

He had to go back to the RSPCA where he came from

I cried uncontrollably, knowing it was fair and

Dad bought me a magazine…

And I have precious memories of Scamp…

So that was two really good things about that day.

No growth up without gravity pulling down, no

Oxygen from the trees without

Bad breath from our mouths.  I

Won’t know right, unless I see wrong, and I

Won’t feel hurt unless I know being loved.

There’s

No coming home unless you’ve been away, and

No beach without the sea – only sand.

No being forgiven without a sense of foul play

No night if there’s only ever day

No benefit of thoughts unless you say…

I love you

Is meaningless without it having gone away…

No relief, without the exit door, if you suddenly decide to stay.

Once I was alone; that’s why I pray.

No out without in;

Now Knowing is because of not knowing;

Cold is just the absence of heat, and

Sound doesn’t exist until our ear drums ring…

This isn’t better until there’s another thing,

A Life is more than a body pumping, or still,

So much good learnt through this suffering.

The sharp grating of life can wear smooth my calloused heart

The pain I feel can crack my hardened soul

My hurting head can teach me how to love

Brokenness is the gateway somehow to being whole.